It’s almost 12 pm. And here I am. Can’t fall asleep yet my eyes wide open still. It’s funny though since my last post months ago.

Dunno, I almost post something about love. It’s thing that I shouldn’t write down here. Since men, will never publish their feeling willingly, publicly.

So, I forfeit my intention to write such thing like that. It is indeed complicated, and the feeling is not fade, though it’s almost 2 months. Rather fades, it grows intense that I couldn’t barely imagine what would the outcome be. It’s funny that this love thingy could fuck your brain, which make the reasoning inside your brain seems haywired. Are these feromons reactions really mindblowing human’s ability of reasoning, making decision and so on.

Yet I can’t tell what I’m going to be. It’s hard to say things that are truly come from your feeling, toward that particular person you’re interested to. I can’t tell, it was hard or it was simply that emotion of fear being rejected. I dunno, I just don’t know what kind of steps I should take. But to be honest, that particular person really brings calmness on your life. Whenever the time is, wherever you are you always hope that this particular person stand by your side. Seeing her smile, staring her dead in the eye, hearing her laughter. Have such reaction that works like dopamine for you. Yeah, dope. That’s all I can say.

I’m hesitate, and surely I’m scared whether I’m being friendzoned or making progress here. Being friendzoned is somehow totally hurt than being rejected. This feeling, this kind of fear really make myself unrest. Since I always generate strategies how to put myself close to her in every occasions.

Pity me, but I don’t care.